i'll be your favourite restaurant, if you'll be mine

why is it that people assume that you can either settle down or "have fun"? since when did tying the knot, settling down, cohabiting (whatever you'd like to call it), become equated with the mundane, boring and banal? is it so very absurd to believe (as i do) that there can be relationships where you are challenged on every level (in a healthy way) and where you and your partner (platonic or romantic), re-invent yourselves as time passes? is it strange to enjoy familiarity and find it worth your while (every single time)?

there are many places to dine in karachi. i'm not saying they're all good, but that many options exist. i however, frequent the places i am most familiar with - places where i know the food will taste good, just like when i know it's slightly off. and that's how i see my ideal life partner. it's like the restaurant where i know what i want off the menu immediately, and sometimes without even glancing at it. the food that before i order, i already know its taste and scent. the booth that might have a scratch, a mark, i accidentally left behind.

it's not boring for me, because despite knowing often what i will order, the menu sometimes is altered, and additions are made constantly via 'daily specials'. i have both, the option of trying something different, and i have the option of sticking with what is familiar, and that's precisely why i enjoy my favourite eateries.

so why can't my life partner be like my favourite eatery? why can't my life partner know what i like, and yet be willing to offer something different should that be what my mood dictates, and my cravings desire? why can't that menu be jazzed up, spiced up, and changed often? why can't there be the option of 'daily specials' in the bedroom and outside, incase that's what the day and its dealings demand?

since when is familiarity synonymous with dullness?

pssaaah!

i'll be your favorite restaurant, if you'll be mine.

you are impossible to find

my personal calender

some people celebrate dates that have been pre-determined as important and somehow, life-altering. my personal calender is slightly different. my new year begins on my birthday, christmas eve. and a date on which i evaluate my worth, my decisions and my actions (basically everything that got me till that point), is 8th february: my mother's death anniversary, and my father's birthday.

whether or not i am checking the gregorian calender, or reading the date on the newspaper, my body tells me it's that time of year.

tomorrow, 9 years ago, i lost my mother. i held her hand as she stopped breathing. i held her hand as i barely recognized the woman in front of me. tomorrow, 9 years later, i have found my mother.

she is with me when i look into the mirror. she is with me as i stress and worry over helping others. she is with me as i continue to inspire and motivate people. she is with me everytime i learn to love, and each time i learn to let go. she is with me when i travel, for she loved it so very much herself. and she is with me when i am all alone.

it took me 9 years. 9 entire years of loving and losing and learning and letting go, to get to this point. but instead of hurting over what was inevitable (at some stage), it's time to celebrate that which remains. and what remains is everyday i have left, and what i do with each. in the words of a very wise man:

"what you are is what you have been.
what you will be, is what you do now."

MJ forever!

Sadeh

yesterday i learnt of Sadeh. perhaps i should have known earlier, given my ancestry and the religion in which i was raised. but you know what they say - it's never too late to learn.

Sadeh is the Persian festivity where fire is honoured. for fire, defeats the forces of darkness, cold and frost.

you belong among the wild flowers