closing time

friday 14th may 2010, saw the close of two years of my life. i will not be returning to the school i was teaching at since i moved back on 18th september 2008 (how we remember the dates that change our lives drastically).

i had considered leaving myself, what with the syllabus being the same year after year (and boring me sufficiently), but i had planned on leaving in december of this year. it turns out though, that teachers are not hired for just one semester, and so my idea of working 2010 away at this same institution, amounted to nothing.

why do i write about this?
because i find it interesting. and repulsive.

i find it interesting that i was told "rules are rules" and they are not bent or broken for anyone. yet, when teachers get pregnant (as several of them have in the 2 years alone that i have been there), they are entitled to the semester off - this is maternity leave. but when teachers desire a semester off to pursue a teacher training course (that was my plan), because they are serious about what they do, and struggling to be better at their careers, somehow that does not warrant time off (which is actually time spent learning), and somehow that is not justified.

let me see if i have this right: so if i choose to birth babies, i am entitled to a semester off (even though i knew full well i was getting myself pregnant, or i knew at the start of the year that i was pregnant), but if i choose to further my knowledge, and better my teaching skills, well then, tough luck.

i don't know why this shocks me. women are after all, just mere vessels for reproduction. a woman's most important job is to have a child, in fact, that's why she exists. women have no minds and no bodies of their own. they have one purpose and one purpose only: to churn out as many offspring as they possibly can. of course, what was i thinking? (i hope you picked up on the sarcasm)

come to think of it, i do know why this shocked me, and why it continues to shock me. i teach. well, i used to. i worked at a school. an institution that imparts knowledge and education. education which is synonymous with tolerance, justice, and equal rights (in my head). and yet, look at what is being practiced. where is the education in that? where is the justice?

i think things worked out for the best. i founded a society for the empowerment of women at this institution, i spoke of equality and respect with its members - i could never have lasted in an academic environment that subjugated women and rendered them mere uterus's.

plus, no one gets to make me feel bad for wanting more knowledge.
NO ONE.


PS. Eilis, i hope wherever you may be, you are at peace, and still following my entries. i think of you often.